Black Friday 2014 – It’s Finally Here!

Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! Children of all ages! Welcome to the biggest, (most dangerous), amazing, spectacular shopping event of the year! Black Friday! Right now, as I’m writing this, there are hordes of angry shoppers out there. Pushing, shoving, spitting, probably even biting. All in the name of the almighty Black Friday deal.

Black Friday anticipates another bloody busy Black Friday.

But what if I told you you don’t have to stand in line to shop on Black Friday? What if I told you that you could avoid all the crowds and all the noise? What if you could avoid all the fighting? What if you didn’t have to threaten to cut someone, or if you didn’t have to break a beer bottle over someones head? What if you could just kick back with your feet up and still get the best deal? All from the comfort of your own home and all without stampeding anybody.

First, I’ll share my experience for this years Black Friday. I went to a very well known department store to check on the state of things. People were brushing past me and bumping me, as usual. I spotted the section where they keep Nerf blasters. “Success,” I thought. I could scope out all the deals. “50% Off All Nerf,” read the sign. My mouth agape, I grabbed the nearest Nerf item and took a look at the price. It was a Nerf Zombie Strike Slingfire with some extra darts, priced at $59.99. Half off would leave that at 30 bucks. Thirty dollars. You can find the Slingfire on Amazon right now for cheaper than that. Throw in a few bucks for the extra darts and you still wouldn’t hit that price point. That’s cheaper than this brick and mortar store during their Black Friday “sale price.” Pathetic.

Back in the day, you’d have no other choice but to leave your house at the crack of dawn and stand in a long cold line. If you wanted the best deal, you were waiting outside a store that hadn’t even opened yet, half digested turkey halfway through your intestines. But there is a better way. Back in those dark ages, there would be a Black Friday and then a Cyber Monday. Black Friday was the cold hard way. Cyber Monday was the easy peasy way. The hard way had better, more plentiful deals. Online shopping was still an obscure curiosity. The lines have blurred, my friends. Just as Thanksgiving and Black Friday have overlapped, so have Black Friday and Cyber Monday. What used to be two separate shopping extravaganzas, has merged into an entire week of deals online. Amazon leads the way. Its Black Friday Deals Week leads straight into its Cyber Monday Deals Week, no pause.

The sales are bananas. There are no lines. There are no people. Even when it’s not on sale, it’s usually priced cheaper than anywhere else. There’s almost always free shipping. Where am I? of course. So do yourself a favor and stay home this Black Friday. Be safe and enjoy Thanksgiving with your family. Hold them close. And when they aren’t looking jump on your computer and go shopping!

With all of my suggestions leading you towards the cheap, everyday prices of, I’d be remiss if I didn’t inform you of Amazon Prime. After you sign up for Amazon Prime, you get access to free two-day shipping, instant video and music streaming, and more.

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